Features

Twenty-Five Things I Learned From WWE Battleground 2017 by Brandon Lasher

Welcome to my very sarcastic analysis of another WWE Smackdown PPV. And believe me this will be a very sarcastic review of the show from Philadelphia. It is the only way I am going to get through what happened last night in the WWE’s Road to Summerslam.

It was a poor pay-per-view. Sure I found ways to enjoy elements of the show, especially the wonderful tag match but it was a tough night to get through. It had screwy finishes, some 50/50 booking and a dreadfully boring main event. Here are the things I learned from the painful night from Philly:

Twenty-Five Things I Learned From WWE Battleground 2017

1.) What did the Renee Young do to deserve being on a panel with Jerry Lawler, Sam Roberts and David Otunga? For that matter what did she do to lose the great show “Talking Smack” as a weekly show?

2.) How come Aiden English and Tye Dillinger are on all the pay-per-view pre-shows? It seems quite strange that they can get on the bigger Smackdown shows but have limited to no in-ring time on Smackdown weekly. It seems a terrible way to build your wrestlers if you don’t see them on the weekly shows and expect us to care about them on pay-per-view.

3.) I learned Aiden English can actually win a match. It was a shock to see him actually win a match on television clean. I looked it up and read he hadn’t won a match clean on television since an 8-man tag in June of 2016. That is a pretty long time. Judging by Jinder Mahal’s push it likely means a WWE Championship for Aiden English very soon.

4.) It is very rare to actually see Big E not wrestle in a New Day tag match. It is usually Xavier Woods that is watching at ringside.

5.) I think that Xavier Woods was the star of the night in the best match of the night by far. His high flying style works great with The Usos and I hope to see more of these two teams in the future. And the distance that Xavier covered on that flying elbow? Impressive. I wish the entire show would be as good as this match. Sadly that wasn’t even remotely true.

6.) I think Shinsuke Nakamura is still really over with the WWE crowd. I am still looking for a great match that he deserves on the main roster. But I learned on Sunday that will not be with Baron Corbin. It was sloppy and didn’t look really good at any point. These two really don’t mesh. Come to think of it I haven’t seen an opponent that Baron Corbin has meshed with yet.

7.) I learned Naomi adds little to the commentary table. To be fair most of the WWE announcers don’t add much either.

8.) I don’t know exactly why Tamina loves to support Lana and save her throughout the match. Maybe she feels sorry for really green wrestlers.

9.) Did we really end a match with a turnbuckle spot? It seemed really anti-climatic based on the crowd reaction to it. I know I was surprised that Natalya won. As much as I respect Natalya as a wrestler, I don’t know if anyone is demanding a Summerslam match between Naomi and Natalya for a title in 2017.

10.) How come we can’t have one clean finish in a Kevin Owens/AJ Styles match? The ending made little sense and the crowd seemed silent. The problem is it looked like both wrestlers had their shoulders down. If you throw in the fact the announcers didn’t acknowledge the finish or show a replay it was all a tad confusing. The feeling of “that’s it?” was transparent in the Kevin Owens/AJ Styles match.

11.) I dream for the day that a foreigner can be a good guy in a patriotic feud. Why is Rusev’s love for Bulgaria less important then Cena’s love for the United States?

12.) I think that WWE wrestlers don’t know how to climb in any speed other then really slowly. It doesn’t matter if it ladders or getting a flag. They are firm believers in slow and steady wins the race.

13.) I also learned wrestlers are really dumb. Why won’t you just throw your opponent’s flag to the crowd? Why wouldn’t you just throw the flag stand away as well? It makes it seem even more predetermined when your wrestlers don’t make logical decisions.

14.) The WWE really hates Rusev don’t they? Here is a good talker and worker who constantly loses to wrestlers like John Cena. Cena really don’t need the wins anymore and Rusev could have really used a major victory. It is a shame the WWE never gets behind its young and talented stars.

15.) I love the fact Tyler Breeze and Fandango acknowledge that series finales can be disappointing. I think that fact applies to most WWE mysteries as well. Especially since they promised an ending to this story and will simply continue it on Smackdown. I never understand why the WWE cannot just be honest to their audience with their promises.

16.) I think Mike Kanellis’ ring tights are Rick Rude levels of ridiculous.

17.) I learned the world is ending soon. How else can you explain Sami Zayn actually winning a match? It is the normal 50/50 booking that really benefits no one in the WWE.

18.) I loved how the Punjabi Prison has its own theme music.

19.) I am glad I was watching it on television and not live. I am pretty sure I couldn’t see anything if I was watching in Philadelphia. To be fair they really didn’t miss much.

20.) Why does the first cage only have four doors open for only 60 seconds each? Why make it seem like such a dramatic thing when Randy Orton literally just climbed out after the last door was closed “forever”? It makes it all seem pretty anticlimactic right?

21.) I am pretty sure that Randy Orton did this feud just because he enjoys beating up the Singh Brothers. They can sure take a good beating. And watching that bump by Samir Singh? That was pretty crazy for a guy who isn’t actually in the match.

22.) I am pretty sure the WWE isn’t having a laugh at my expense. How else can you explain bringing back The Great Khali in 2017? That is a return that no one was clamoring for.

23.) Why didn’t Randy Orton simply leave in the minutes it took The Great Khali to walk down to the ring?

24) I think we are seeing The Great Khali versus Randy Orton at Summerslam and that thought makes me die inside.

25) I learned I never want to see another Punjabi Prison match as long as I live. Come to think of it I never want to see another Jinder Mahal title reign again as long as I live.

Final Thoughts

This was easily the worst pay-per-view of the brand split era. It is pretty sad to see Smackdown’s quality drop so much in the last few months. It was also annoying to see so many matches end in terrible finishes that provide no conclusion to really any of the feuds. The talent of the blue brand is too deep to be wasted in such dumb ways.

——————————–

Feel free to contact me at lasher@pacificu.edu. Additionally, I have my Twitter account, WWEBNRL as well. I would love to hear your thoughts on Battleground? Was I took negative on this Smackdown show?